I must be doing something right

Sometimes being a mom is the hardest job...  So many times I feel inadequate or like I should be doing better.  Having twins is no picnic and having preemies is a whole other story.  Lately I have been stuck in the "what if" mode. I keep wondering if I had done things different before now if things would be different, but I can't change the past so I keep trying not to dwell on the past.  As moms we worry more and love more!  We want the very best for our children and we worry A LOT because of all the LOVE!!  Lately I find that the twins weights are always on my mind.  The babies turned 9 months old on the 4th of November and at their appointment we found out that Leah is starting to fall off the growth curve.  I KNOW she is small and people tell me ALL the time (as if i don't know)... "she is so tiny"  "there is no way they are really that age" "they look unnatural sitting/crawling cause they are so small."  I know that when people say these things they aren't trying to be mean or hurtful, but every time someone does it just reminds me of the worry that is already in the back of my mind.  It makes me wonder if I had given formula sooner, if I had only nursed one baby, if I had been invited to NICU grad-checks after discharge- would things be different??  Are they small and not growing good because of me??  Could I have made a difference sooner??  Sometimes I feel inadequate...
Then I look at the sweet smiles, I watch them sit, play, eat and I hear their laughs, and I KNOW I must be doing something right.  They are still doing well developmentally and I can't change the past, but I can make the future the best that I can.  I can have faith that if I try my hardest and believe they will grow if it is God's will, they will- just not on my time table.  I love being a mom even if it is the hardest job.  It is definitely one of the most rewarding!

9 MONTH STATS
Leah: 11 lbs 10 oz (0.02%), 24 1/4 inches long (0.05%)  Wearing 0-3 & 3-6 clothes. 2 teeth, loves solids but hates to drink a bottle, army crawls/scoots fast.
Noah: 14 lbs (0.18%), 25 3/4 inches long (0.15%)  wearing 3-6 & 6 month clothes. 2 teeth, loves to nurse and eat solids, army crawls/scoots,